In this enlightening talk, Dr. Jordan Peterson explores the psychological reasons behind why women generally score higher on levels of negative emotion than men. Delving into key gender differences that emerge from both biological and evolutionary perspectives, he explains how traits like neuroticism, associated with emotional sensitivity, diverge post-puberty and why women are more vulnerable to anxiety and depression. Dr. Peterson discusses the protective aspects of this emotional sensitivity in the context of motherhood, survival, and the innate need for vigilance. He also explains how th…...more
I stumbled across this book, The Shadow Game of Attraction, and I was not sure what to expect at first. But as I kept reading, I realized just how much we are not told about attraction, influence, and power. It is not the typical advice you hear everywhere. It actually exposes the hidden dynamics behind why some people seem to have an almost unfair advantage. Once you see it, you cannot unsee it. I do not usually recommend books online, but this one is different. If you have ever wondered why some people effortlessly draw others in while others struggle, this book explains it in a way that just clicks. Worth a look.
My wife has been confrontational since we started dating 14 years ago. She has chest bumped me during arguments. She will intentionally run into during arguments. About a year ago we were in an argument and it was a bad one and during this argument she pushed me on the side of my head. I immediately stood up and pushed her in her shoulder. She fell to the ground and started crying about how could I do that to her! During our counseling session(yes we were in marriage counseling) we brought this up and immediately the counselor (female) told me I should not have pushed back because I am bigger. Never once addressed the fact that if my wife would not have put her hands on me first then I would have never laid a finger on her. I was physically abused by father as a kid so I do not let people put their hands on me out of anger.
Still to this day a year later she talks about how I pushed her back. I have repeated I have never laid a finger on her out of anger during our time together and I would not have pushed her if she did not push first. My wife still cannot comprehend that. I dumped the counselor and told my wife that she needs to seek individual counseling and I will also. I am now at the end of my string. She knows I am now half way out the door and if she does not correct her emotions I am done. Lots of other stuff on her but that is another story. We also have two kids tother.
You touch on one of the biggest learning points I found when I started as a manager: that if you are running a hardworking team and you definitively sack the slacker, and make it clear why, the people who are most grateful and motivated by it are the other members of that team. Seriously, I have taken on interim management jobs where nobody had had the guts to deal with the obvious for years, and when I showed up, listened, investigated and acted decisively to make sure we only had hardworking decent people on a team, they almost cried with gratitude. It seems intuitive that if two people are doing the same job, and you sack one, the other will get nervous and demotivated, but it is the exact reverse. A slacker sponges of the efforts of others, blocks employment of someone better and you as an employer are actively insulting everyone else every month by paying them the same as the others.
Exciting video. A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosey, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other
The main thing that I’m learning is that the popular idea of “romance” requires caution and needs to be tempered. I lost myself over and over thinking that my partner had the same reasons as me to be in a relationship. Now that all this information is available online I wish I could be 20 again and go into a partnership with my eyes wide open.
A thousand emotional and physical papercuts before he strikes back one time, but no-one remembers the first one thousand blows. [02:08] That needs to change.
My ex had some sort of childhood trauma and she would lose it on a regular basis. She just was so good when she was good, but when she was in one of her tantrums she became intolerable. I usually just left her place and went back to my own, and usually she would come and apologise a day or two later. One day she did her block for absolutely no reason and commenced dragging me around by my beard. This was unpleasant so I asked her to stop, but she just continued dragging me around. I asked her again to let go, and she just would not. So, having no available alternatives I yanked on her hair. She let go of my beard, but she didn't like me defending myself at all and made out the old crap - ancient expectations of getting away with violence even when you provoke it, while simultaneously demanding equality in every respect.
I'm agreeable and I don't like conflict.
However I don't like being taken for a fool or taken advantage of.
So I force myself to step-up when I need to.
And it's actually very rewarding!
The best way I've heard the difference between men and women is this:
A man's action leads to his emotions. A woman's emotion leads to her actions.
Men do first and feel second while women feel first then act.
Speaking to the "agreeable people have a hard time telling you what they want." My former partner, when asked what she wanted, went on a rant about what she did NOT want. For some reason, she was incapable of articulating what she actually wanted.
I have been physically attacked by every woman I have been in a long-term relationship with. I wondered if it was just me. So one day at work while the guys were all gathered around I asked a group of about 30 of us if they had ever been attacked by their significant other or ex-girlfriends and every single one of them said yes. Could you imagine if 100% of women were abused by their significant others? There would be safe houses and non-profit organizations to help these poor abused women. Men get absolutely nothing
The two most disagreeable people I ever met were both middle-aged women. One bullied me out of stuff I was entitled to. The other tried to cheat me out of ten thousand dollars of pay but the accountants wouldn’t let her. Statististical generalities aren’t guarantees about individuals.
Never the less, by the end, I was a bundle of shredded nerves, had almost no spirit, no heart or soul, just a broken man, and now, regardless of all reasoning, I'll will not gamble my sanity ever again, I would rather remain as I am....
Those stock images and videos are so irritating. I rather prefer to see him talk than some random videos in the background , it is really really annoying
I've spent so much of my life being so overly-agreeable in fear of conflict. I practice standing up for my ideas but not around the ones I love as much at fear of doing something wrong to them. I still try but with much smaller steps.
I'm a 51 year old man, and to this day, NO ONE has ever scared me as much as my mom did when I was growing up. She was an angry mess with little impulse control. I'll spare the graphic details, but my childhood would make a perfect storyline for an arthouse horror film.
My dad could get angry with me, and I would get a little nervous. I dealt with some older bullies, and they would make me nervous. But my 125-pound mom would literally put me in a state of fearful dread that was unparalleled to anyone.
I never had a relationship because of my mom. I mean, this was the one person that should have genuinely cared about me. I shudder to think what a woman would do that wasn't obligated to care for me.
9:00 in college my business classes required students to work in groups.
The women in the groups would dismiss all the men’s contributions and then afterwards when filling out the paperwork of percentages who did the work for the instructor. The women would say they did all the work. Then the women received disproportional higher grades then the men.
"The demand for inclusiveness and unity and care, and the demand for high level performance in a hierarchical structures, they're very different in the world." Very interesting point. One could look at politically Left, and Right as being expressions of those ideologies. Then he points out that people may be agreeable and prone to the former attitude if they wish to avoid conflict and are averse to danger and to the truth of situations.
Jordan's hypothesis is credible. It accords with my experience with women. Jordan's honesty and fair-mindedness are impressive. Really stimulating stuff!
One key thing he missed- hormones. I would like to hear how estrogen and testosterone affect individuals. It's far more likely that these things play a bigger role than the arguments he puts forward here.
A lot of times, I'm agreeable because I end up in jail when I'm not. Some people use sly words expecting an argument but forget that people will defend themselves from pain, whether its physical or emotional. Respect can be maintained in an argument unless its with those people who want a reaction. They always underestimate the person and reaction
The two most disagreeable people I ever met were both middle-aged women. One bullied me out of stuff I was entitled to. The other tried to cheat me out of ten thousand dollars of pay but the accountants wouldn’t let her. Statististical generalities aren’t guarantees about individuals.
Never the less, by the end, I was a bundle of shredded nerves, had almost no spirit, no heart or soul, just a broken man, and now, regardless of all reasoning, I'll will not gamble my sanity ever again, I would rather remain as I am....
Those stock images and videos are so irritating. I rather prefer to see him talk than some random videos in the background , it is really really annoying
I've spent so much of my life being so overly-agreeable in fear of conflict. I practice standing up for my ideas but not around the ones I love as much at fear of doing something wrong to them. I still try but with much smaller steps.
I'm a 51 year old man, and to this day, NO ONE has ever scared me as much as my mom did when I was growing up. She was an angry mess with little impulse control. I'll spare the graphic details, but my childhood would make a perfect storyline for an arthouse horror film.
My dad could get angry with me, and I would get a little nervous. I dealt with some older bullies, and they would make me nervous. But my 125-pound mom would literally put me in a state of fearful dread that was unparalleled to anyone.
I never had a relationship because of my mom. I mean, this was the one person that should have genuinely cared about me. I shudder to think what a woman would do that wasn't obligated to care for me.
9:00 in college my business classes required students to work in groups.
The women in the groups would dismiss all the men’s contributions and then afterwards when filling out the paperwork of percentages who did the work for the instructor. The women would say they did all the work. Then the women received disproportional higher grades then the men.
"The demand for inclusiveness and unity and care, and the demand for high level performance in a hierarchical structures, they're very different in the world." Very interesting point. One could look at politically Left, and Right as being expressions of those ideologies. Then he points out that people may be agreeable and prone to the former attitude if they wish to avoid conflict and are averse to danger and to the truth of situations.
Jordan's hypothesis is credible. It accords with my experience with women. Jordan's honesty and fair-mindedness are impressive. Really stimulating stuff!
One key thing he missed- hormones. I would like to hear how estrogen and testosterone affect individuals. It's far more likely that these things play a bigger role than the arguments he puts forward here.
A lot of times, I'm agreeable because I end up in jail when I'm not. Some people use sly words expecting an argument but forget that people will defend themselves from pain, whether its physical or emotional. Respect can be maintained in an argument unless its with those people who want a reaction. They always underestimate the person and reaction
Men get absolutely nothing
